I’m thinking seriously about not going to today’s game.
My grandmother’s reaction to this text message was:
Is there something wrong with you? Are you sick?
No, there was nothing wrong with me, except I really didn’t feel like trudging one hour out in car on a Friday night to some random club to not step onto the court. This week I haven’t been to practise because of persistent virus that I’ve been dragging around. I needed a bit of rest and that is what I also feel like doing tonight.
But… I know that duty calls.
Being on a team isn’t just about your playing on the court, but about the other four players on the court with you, not to mention the several others on the bench. But I know it wasn’t the prospect of not playing that bugged me so much. I couldn’t run away from the fact that I was starting to feel this team as a chore and when things I choose to do in my spare time become chore like, I start to rethink my intention. Is this what I had in mind in February of last year when I started with America del Sud? Or had I visualized more glory?
Maybe it is all the losses, but even that doesn’t convince my gloom. There was something else at the root of this sensation. I could find out what it was by going to the game. And, so I went.
We arrived early to Claridad, which is strange for us. However, a well warmed up team didn’t prevent our loss. Coach put me in for the last four minutes of game, which surprised me. Although I was happy that I did get to play, I didn’t enjoy returning to a depressed bench. We seem to have really hit some sort of rut and no one can get us out of it but ourselves.
In the car ride home, there were many negative comments made about what was wrong with the team. What the coach did wrong, what other players did wrong, and why the whole team was ineffective. But no one mentioned what we could do to improve. They were just pointing out all the negative points. What could be done to bring us together as a team?
I think the most frustrating part is even I don’t know what could unite us into the amazing team we are meant to be. Not just to win, but to feel like a team.