Rams vs. Lions

The girls bringing in the ball.

On Saturday, I went to see both the women’s and men’s games at my old university. It was strange walking through the upper gym where I used to play my own basketball for three years. I started playing half way through my second year, inspired by a basketball playing crush. One day I just decided to pick up a basketball and learn to shoot. And here I am.

I shyly stated to the two girls selling tickets in the entrance of the gym that I was alumni.

“Were you part of any team?” one asked and I heard myself respond, “I wish.”

I surprised myself with my answer because it was almost sarcastic as if to say “Hah! What a joke! How would I be on any team?”

I found myself a seat in the bleachers and watched the last quarter of the women’s game against the York Lions. I enjoyed seeing the girls play ferociously for the 42 – 34 win, which is apparently their sixth straight win. Woo!

The guy’s team started their warm up routine right after the girl’s game. I recognized most of the players on the team and smiled to see some rookie players grown in size and confidence. I kept my eyes open for familiar faces off the court as well. A lot of retired players wandered the court, getting settled to watch the game. I could guess that they, like me, missed touching this particular court floor.

After each team’s introduction, we stood up for the almost three minutes of what is the Canadian national anthem and I could feel a nostalgic feeling in my solar plexus.

York got the first tip off and the game started up.

One of the biggest differences I notice between men’s and women’s basketball is the speed and this is why (I believe) the men’s game represents the highest form of the sport at this moment. Also, because men have been training and playing basketball longer than women, they are more advanced. In the future, this will change.

I noticed that many of the masculine players like to rush the ball, especially by the end of the game when signs of exhaustion begin to show. They have a bad habit of pushing these crazy out of control runs that are not always effective. I kept hearing comments from one sightly monotone voice behind me: “Use the glass!” It was usually followed by a teeth clicking sound of frustration.

Unfortunately, the men’s team ended up with a 73 – 74 loss to york. I took one last look at the bright gym before heading out in the cold winter night.

Ryerson Rams are in black and York Lions are in white.

Strong layup!

Going to the line.

Scramble.

Rams warm-up.

Warming up includes dunking, yes.

Lions huddle.

I really liked how 21 played that night.

Free throws aren't free until you get them in.

Me and Eggy!

Fear

Devoto Court.

Jump-shot.

A couple weeks ago, I agreed to sign up for a 3-on-3 ball tournament run by a local basketball clothing brand. I was very excited, not only because it was my first tournament, but because I finally felt confident enough to put out my skills for many to see. Or so I thought.

“What do you mean you don’t want to play anymore? You want to back out?”

I calmly tried to explain my reasons to a sad and disappointed face: the fee for teams went up and we wouldn’t be able to negotiation a lower price.

“And ..and..well, I just don’t feel comfortable. What if I get in the way? You guys need a tall player…I’m not a useful 4 or 5…and..”

One of the biggest challenges I confront while on the court has nothing to do with the physical. Instead, it’s the mental and emotional fears that slow me down most of the time. Fear of failure, of being embarrassed, of really screwing something up.

At the R.A.C., I had phases where I spent much of my time not playing, but watching, because of my fear of court rejection.

“Why aren’t you on the court?” a friend would ask. Meanwhile, my back was up against the wall, feet dangling with clean shoes on. I’d just shrug my shoulders, unable to admit that some days I just didn’t have the energy to stand up to my fear.

I suppose all ballers come up against personal insecurities and there comes a point when you realize if you don’t take care of these fears, you will never progress. This mechanism to protect yourself from failing and making mistakes, in turn, limits your opportunity to learn and improve. It can really stunt your evolution as a player and many of my initial years were about getting over these doubts in my ability.

On Tuesdays, the A Women’s team in my club trains before us. I sometimes arrive a bit early and watch their last chunk of practise. Their runs are more intricate, their passes strong and accurate. All-together it is a faster basketball, more precise, and a notch up from my team. Me and Silvi watched from the side bench and I had a thought: why had I never tried to get on the A-team? Physically I could, although time wise, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make the commitment. And then it hit me: fear.

The only reason I didn’t at least try-out for the team was because of the overwhelming presence of fear around my heart. I sat in amazement at my own realization, while Silvi turned to me quietly: “They are quite in shape, aren’t they…”

I think I still have a chance to get in on the 3-on-3 tournament and I understand that all I have to do is focus on my game. There will probably always be a little voice, hinting to the negative, but if I raise the volume on the other voices, like the belief in my strengths, I can overcome these fears.

Ball Crushes

One lazy Monday at the RAC, I had just finished playing a particularly bad round of American when a guy confronted me about my intention of playing with all men:

“Are you here to really play basketball? Or do you just enjoy the scenery?”

In that moment, I just smiled and told him to believe whatever he wanted, but that I was in love with basketball. But thinking about it later, I was slightly offended at the accusation, even though his suspicion was valid.

Aggressive Talk

The beginning of last Monday night’s practice started with Cate’s usual pep talk.

“Just before we begin, I want to inform you all of something I encountered at a all-girl’s tournament I played in this weekend…”

The attention of 12 bodies quickly focused on her.